aNg paNgaraP ko sa nGayon haBang akO'y naBuBuhaY

Isa lang naman ang pangarap ko habang ako'y nabubuhay pa, ang makakita at mabigyan ng pagkakataon na makadaupang palad ang ituturing nating mga tao na "living saint". Yun ang hinahanap ko sa henerasyong aking kinabibilangan. Ang totoo meron naman dalawang taong tinuring na "living saint" sa henerasyon ko. Ang problema nga lang ay wala pa akong pakialam sa kanila. Ang una ay si Bl. Mother Theresa. Naririnig ko na siya pero wala lang iyon para sa akin. Hindi ko masyado pinapansin. Taong 1997 siya namatay at nasa highschool na ako nung panahon na iyon. Pangalawa ay si Bl. John Paul II. Taong 2005 siya namatay at ako'y nagtatrabaho na nung panahong iyon. Ngunit ganun din, wala pa rin akong pakialam sa kanila ngunit sa taon ding ito naganap ang aking "metanoia". Oha! Malaki ang naiambag ni Bl. JP2 kung anuman ako ngayon.

Dalangin ko talaga na may makilala ulit at may maabutan na "living saint" sa henerasyong ito. Malamang madami yan hindi pa lang nagiging maingay sa mundo. Pero sana may makadaupang palad ako habang ako'y nabubuhay pa. Kahit isa lang.

bYahE nG bUhay

kanina kasama ako ni tsong nakaangkas sa kanyang motor. naningil at namili.

habang kami'y bumabyahe nabanggit n'yang ako'y kanyang tuturuan magmotor.

sa paglalakbay namin, sumagi sa aking isipan na ang buhay ay parang pagmamaneho.

tayo ang nagmamaneho ng byahe ng ating buhay.

nawari ko na sa pagmamaneho...

- marami kang makakasabay sa daan

- maraming nagmamaneho ng iba't ibang klase ng sasakyan.

- may malaki, maliit, magara, luma, mabagal, mabilis, maingay at kakaragkarag. ngunit hindi importante kung anong klase ng sasakyan/katayuan mo sa buhay ang dala mo sa byahe. ang mas mahalaga ay kung sino ang nagmamaneho, ang kanyang kalooban at dignidad.

- sa pagmamaneho ng ating buhay kailangan maging alerto. hindi pedeng malingat sapagkat marami ang pedeng mangyari.

- hindi ka rin pwede mambangga ng iba kahit okay lang sayong magasgasan sapagkat kailangan isaalang-alang din ang iyong mapipinsala.

- minsan mabagal ang byahe, matrapik, maraming lubak at liko pero minsan diretso at mabilis lang ang takbo hanggang minsan nadadala tayo sa smooth na pagtakbo ng ating buhay ng di alinatana kung may biglang tumawid na magpapabalik sa ating kamalayan ukol sa pagbyahe sa ating buhay.

ngunit sa aking paglalakbay kanina napagtanto ko kung sa pagbyahe ko ng aking buhay ay napatanong ko kung ako nga ba ang nagmamaneho.

o baka naman nakikiangkas lang din ako ng di ko namamalayan. baka naman hindi ko pa sinubukan na magmaneho ng aking buhay ng ako mismo ang nagmamaneho.

sa pag-angkas ko sa iba hindi ko pwede ibaling ang sisi kung ano man at saan man ako mapadpad sapagkat ako'y nakikiangkas lamang. hindi naman ako pinilit na umangkas at malaya akong bumaba.

sa pagsubok kong magmaneho ng aking buhay alam kong hindi madali. nakakakaba at nakakatakot. pero kailangan kong ako na mismo ang magmaneho ng aking buhay.

meron namang break kapag kailangang huminto.

meron namang busina upang magbigay senyales sa iba.

nais ko ng subukang bumyahe at lumusong sa kalsada ng buhay. makihalubilo sa ibang taong nagsusumikap magmaneho ng kanilang buhay.

saan pupunta? lahat naman isa lang ang pupuntahan...

to start anew...

.currently i'm here at talavera, nueva ecija. in my mother's bestfriend's house. thinking, enjoying the place, and perhaps planning. i still want to hold on to the reason(s) why i left the seminary and start anew with my life. i don't know if it is a compelled action to do after leaving behind your history. there are many things to consider, many things offered but still i am the one who will decide. am i really the one who will decide? or it still depends on the factors outside me? i cannot blame those outside me with every decision i make. they can easily blame me for the decision i make. i cannot blame others with the consequences i might face. they can easily blame me with the consequences i might have.

"Do this in memory of me." - Lk.22:19

On the road to Emmaus, two men did not easily recognized Jesus until he took bread, blessed it and broke it and gave it to them. And their eyes were opened, and they recognized him (Lk.24:30). Everyday we are given a great opportunity to witness and be part of breaking of the bread in the Eucharist, which was instituted by Jesus before he was arrested. We are blessed to encounter Him and be reminded of His great love for us and the forgiveness of our sins.

Blessed are we who are called to receive Jesus in the Eucharist. Yes! Jesus. In the Eucharist, we are able to receive Him, Body and Blood. A saint would say, "How great it is to know that the only food my soul would take is Jesus. He alone could suffice my soul." St. Paul said, when we come together, it is not the Lord's supper that we are receiving, rather the Lord himself. And for as often as you eat the bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes (1Cor.11:26). Therefore let us make ourselves worthy of receiving Jesus in the Eucharist. Be mindful not to profane the Body and Blood of the Lord by examining ourselves before receiving Him.

If we are asked to picture in mind our best memory with Jesus, tell that it is in the Eucharist, the Last Supper. For in this memory, we can definitely feel His great love and great mercy for us.

For in this memory, He commanded us to love one another, just as he loved us.
For in this memory, He taught us that He is our Way, our Truth and our Life.
For in this memory, we kept His commandments because we loved Him.
For in this memory, He left us with His peace and turned our sorrows into joy.
For in this memory, Jesus defeated the world.

"Do this in memory of me.", said Jesus. "Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds in my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise him up on the last day." (Jn. 6:53-54)

- jEpoY QuiNterO
Holy Cross Parish Bulletin March 2010 Cover Issue

Why do we question our existence?

Do we really happen to exist without a reason? Does this universe and this world just existed with no meaning at all? Why humans quarreled about the essence of our existence? Why from the beginning, we argued if there was a Supreme Being who has been the cause of everything in the universe and this world? Why not humans existed same as the plants and animals who does not worry and care why they exist? Where and How do we get this kind of knowledge? If we just happen to exist in this world, why should we exist with the need of oxygen, or sun, or water, or with animals and plants to eat. Can we just exist in this world alone? Is there really a a divine orderer and divine designer who caused all this things to exist for us to survive and live a meaningful life? Does this world was created fitted for us and to us? Does we really existed here in this world with no reason at all or somebody put us here?

On Friendship

" I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my FatherI have made known to you." - Jn. 15: 15

How good it is to know that someone calls you "friend" and sometimes treat you as his best friend. As a relational being, we tend to look for someone who could undestand and made us feel secure and happy. Jesus made known everything of Him to His disciples before considering them His friend. I repeat... EVERYTHING. Jesus' disciples witnessed how He wept from the death of a friend, how Jesus showed His anger at the temple and how Jesus told Peter "Go away from me Satan!". But His disciples remained still to their faith to Jesus. Whenever we experience conflict between our considered friends, it is only a part of discovering their personality. A part of gradual knowing of the totality of our friends. It is not yet the "EVERYTHING" of that person. What is important is the moment we have shared with them, the learning we get and the humility acquired from them. Friendship does not manifest only in being with each other or always updating each other. Like what Jesus’ disciples did when He ascended into Heaven, they continue to fulfill what Jesus want them to do and continue to show what they have learn and experience being a friend of Jesus. Nothing on earth will last forever. And friendship will only last depending on the person’s decision and free will. No one is to blame if that friendship will not end in good terms. It is up to us, after knowing everything from our friends, good or bad, if we will continue to accept them and soon call them our FRIENDS.

Longing for a relationship

They say, "man was created to be relational". From the start God created the world and all that was in it including us, man. God created the birds, land and sea creatures to accompany man but still he found no happiness until God created a woman out of man's ribs. God continued to relate to us even our first parents commited sin and be sent out from paradise.
My God! My soul is glad to feel that you are always there, waiting for me to relate with you, despite of my offenses and failings. I always seek guidance, comfort, love and affection from others not realizing that You are willing to give those things to me. I always look from others what is lacking in me to be filled not thinking that you alone can suffice me.